Do you get stuck in a state of comparison? Do you suffer imposter syndrome often?
Today we have Kelly Ruta, a dear friend, peer, and mentor who I am constantly learning and developing beside. Kelly is going to be sharing about leadership and mindset as this is her background. She has built a phenomenal business off the back of her experience.
Kelly Sullivan Ruta is a former clinical psychotherapist of 2 decades who left the profession to raise the bar in the coaching industry with years of formal training, experience and expertise working with the human psyche. She is a sought-after speaker and CEO Development Strategist who helps entrepreneurs create safe and foundational psychological shifts that result in exponential business growth without sacrificing values, ethics or joy.
Kelly believes that women are being called to rise and lead like never before in modern history and entrepreneurs are perfectly positioned to create a massive healing impact on the planet. She seeks to positively impact women worldwide by teaching them to create personal mastery so they are confident, brave, and in COMMAND as they work through the messy phases of scaling and growth.
Kelly is a hardcore introvert, Starbucks addict, unapologetic Scorpio, and lover of all things beach. When she isn’t working, Kelly is hanging with her ride-or-die besties, has her head in a book or is with her husband and two sons, often at the baseball field.
Kelly is going to drop some serious wisdom for us today. When we are working around visionaries who work at triple the speed we do, we get into a state of comparison and sometimes that leads to imposter syndrome. We are going to talk about what that looks like for those of us in the service industry, such as Directors of Operations (DOO).
We as humans hold ourselves back. What are some insights on ways to overcome this?
- What is actually going on is that when you start comparing or having doubt, inevitably you will arrive at “what is wrong with me”, which is a direct threat to everything that matters
- You are not alone in this; every single human has an ego, and you have to learn to understand it
- Your ego wants to maintain the status quo no matter what
- You have to create a new identity, and your ego wants nothing to do with that
- Your ego has some outstanding tactics to throw obstacles in your way so you can’t stretch yourself, and impostor syndrome is one of those ways
“Just because you decided to step into a role; you don’t get to sidestep the human experience.” -Kelly Ruta
What is the work we need to do to overcome these safe spots?
- A lot of research shows that females receive lots of risk averse messaging
- I encourage women to do the deep inner work on your unconscious mind, your conscious mind, how you navigate your emotions, and how to create habits of behavior that serve your deeper desires
- What will set you apart from others is not the strategy or tactic you are using in your business, but the person you are being when you come up with the strategy or implement it; it’s about the person not the strategy
“It’s uncomfortable to change your behavior, because you start thinking about all the ‘what ifs’.”- Kelly Ruta
How do we protect and grow ourselves and emotionally support our business brains?
- The slightest change in language makes a big difference… stop saying “or” and start saying “and.” We love to compartmentalize but business is not a good place to do this.
- Women have been fed cultural messages. We get a huge pat on the back for things like being Type A or being in constant action instead of consistent and intentional actions
- That leads to being a super woman or a failure
- Know when to slow down, and know when to be in consistent focused action and know how to dance between the two
- Figure out what you require to give your best
“Start saying “I choose to, I get to, I require.” — Kelly Ruta
“You will never be able to do your absolute best work if you are not filling your own cup” — Kelly Ruta
When we need to unplug, how can we avoid feeling guilty or like things will fall apart without us?
- This is common, and these doubts will pop up because we often have been programed to feel that we don’t deserve it or that we are not worthy
- When you start feeling the messages that trigger guilt/worry/fear, develop a habit of “pause and observe” because when you observe with curiosity, you cannot occupy the same space as judgement.
- It gives you just enough space to not personalize and internalize what is going on
“Curiosity and judgment do not share space.” — Kelly Ruta
Tell us your experience having left the space of psychotherapy and moved into leadership coaching and support?
- She comes to the table a very flawed person with a lot of trauma
- She is very transparent about her history of abuse and PTSD because so many women are trying to do big bold things without addressing their previous traumas
- She shares this because she wants women to see what is possible
- Got a degree in psychology and clinical social work, then 20 years of clinical experience
- Left the industry for coaching and was horrified about the lack of standards among coaches and influencers
- Serves people by bringing science, best practices, training, and education. Has a knowledge base with an demonstrable skill set
- Helps people work on their mental game, emotional game, decision making, creating habits, and overcoming blocks
How to find Kelly
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